Judicious flattery secured him the consulship under Caligula ; and under Nero he was superintendent of the water supply. Hoadly, being not unskilled in the art of flattery, was translated in 1721 to the see of Hereford, in 1723 to Salisbury and in 1734 to Winchester. Offering praise that you don’t really mean will backfire. Try being more aware of the discrepancy between what you are saying and what you are thinking, and figuring out a productive way to say what you are really thinking. The king was pleased with the portrait, as it was very flattering of his girth.

R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, Goneril and Regan from King Lear, and Iago from Othello. Historically, flattery has been used as a standard form of discourse when addressing a king or queen. Flattery is the act of giving excessive compliments, generally for the purpose of ingratiating oneself with the subject.

Say something like, “Thank you, that’s very kind of you,” or “Thank you, I appreciate the compliment.” Quite to the contrary, these soothsayers understand that flattery has the power to influence, corrupt, undermine, and deceive – they wield flattery as a lethal weapon against the undiscerning. Manipulation in the form of flattery is little more than a covert form of aggression. The first step in dealing with an untruthful or insincere person is often to accept who they are.

He is silent on grave errors and accuses of the inconsequential lapses. Because of this discomfort, people develop a number of deflection strategies for compliments. One is to deny the thing they have been complimented for (“No, I’m not really that great a writer.”). A second is to minimize the achievement they have been complimented for (“Honestly, it wasn’t that big a task.”). For unwanted flirty compliments, let the person know you’re not interested or already taken.

Influence, or sex, and use flattery as goal- directed behavior to get what they want. This post unpacks the meaning and origin of this expression. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 37,202 times. Developing and honing new skills can help you build self-efficacy and start to believe in your abilities. Or, ask your boss for some on-the-job training in a new area.

The Old English root word of flatter is flater, which originally meant “to stroke with the hand or caress.” When you stroke someone’s ego to get what you want, you’re using flattery. If the person you are wildly complimenting tells you that flattery will get you nowhere, you know it’s time to back off. If people with the intention of becoming famous do not respond with utter kindness, they are not likely to be known, liked and become famous.

My compliment may be fake but the love or the likeability of the person I give it to would not. I would want to make them feel good about themselves and that is more important to me than keeping my compliments genuine. The unconscious has always been an active playground, or battleground, for business — but usually only the marketing people ever venture to go there. Chan and Sengupta’s findings suggest, to me at least, that the stickiness of gut attitudes should be part of everyone’s calculations.

This shows grade level based on the word’s complexity. Flattery is dishonest when used to gain or control. It is effective because everyone has insecurities and loves to be told great things about themselves. She soon pressured him to spend time at insincere flattery examples her house and talked about marriage. He was distressed and confused, because he had a long-distance girlfriend, and his requests were being disregarded. Things turned abusive, as he would make fun of her looks and take her phone as punishment.

Don’t assume the compliment is insincere if it’s over text; it’s really hard to identify tone in a text message, and they may be genuinely trying to compliment you. Find similar words to flattery using the buttons below. If the days were filled with flattery, the nights were filled with emptiness. Add flattery to one of your lists below, or create a new one.